So many wives, so little time!

    Well it is true what they told us, the independent study portion of the semester is tiring, difficult, rewarding, and an in-depth cultural experience.
    Last Sunday I arrived in Douala a little before noon. I called Djaïli Amadou Amal and she told me that she and her husband were in town running errand and were not too far from where I was staying. They drove up in their big white truck 15 minutes later. Amal got out and was waddling to the lobby of our guest house where we sat for our interview. I say waddling because she is nine months pregnant. In fact, while we had planned to space out our interview over the course of a few days, we decided it would be better to complete all the questions that afternoon because she thought she might go into labor very soon! It was a very long, but very rich interview! I was so thankful that she took the time to talk to me.
    Amal grew up in the Extreme North of Cameroon. She was fortunate enough to go to school because her father was a teacher and her mother was Egyptian so it was not a question for her whether or not her daughters would attend school. That being said, she was married off into a polygamous marriage at the age of 16. She fought to continue school, but once she got to the age of University she was forced to stop as there is no University in the Extreme North. She said she was a writer since she was in elementary school, but she began writing seriously after she left her first husband. Yes, she was so unhappy that she chose to leave the polygamous relationship. She moved to Douala and married her current husband, also a writer and editor, and published Walaande: l’art de partager un mari in 2010. She explained that this book was a culmination of events that she saw happen and that happened within her marriage. She thinks that before the situation of the current Cameroonian woman can change, people must learn about the problem and that is what writing is capable of. She thinks that the more people are aware of the realities in the homes of these families, the more people will fight for the rights of oppressed women and children and the less people will ignore what is truly going on. She gave the responses that for the most part I had expected and which prompted my research question: is what she writes about accurately portraying the realities of these women? Because if she is not displaying their realities, then people are not being informed of the true situation and thus, the situation of the African women will not be changed. However, when I asked if her writing is a rebellion against tradition and of course polygamy, she answered poignantly: I would say a reform rather than a revolt. She emphasized that she values her culture, but there are things that need to change desperately in order for women to live happier lives.
    After the interview I was even more excited to go discover the lives of these polygamous families in the North. I went back to Yaoundé and first went to a bookstore where I asked about some statistics of Amal’s book and Cameroonian women’s novels in general. They were only able to tell me that while Amal’s book had been well received, novels in general just don’t sell in Cameroon. This is important because Amal’s writing might be able to change the women’s situation, but only if people read... On top of that, Walaande sells for 5,000 CFA or $10, but the minimum wage in Cameroon is 28,000 CFA/mo. Why would anyone spend almost 20% of their monthly earnings on a book? It is a problem that Amal acknowledged.
    I had a free day in Yaoundé where I took 7 painful hours to transcribe the interview with Amal (transcriptions are probably the most time-consuming and difficult part of this project). I wrote up the surveys for my informants. I am giving out 20 surveys to wives of polygamous families, 10 surveys to the husbands, and 10 to the children over the age of 18. I decided to make three different surveys because I am asking about different themes from the novel that concern each group in a different way.
    The themes that I am focusing on are: jealousy between the wives, domestic violence, the choice (or lack thereof) for women and children to make decisions for their marriages and their education, and finally, the changing in ideas about polygamy in the young generation.
    So, I left Yaoundé Wednesday afternoon. This time the train ride to Ngaoundéré was much more pleasant because I had a bed on the train! It was also the safest way to travel, seeing as I was going overnight alone. I arrived in Ngaoundéré Thursday morning and it was nice to see my family again. I met up with Margo who is the other girl from my program doing her project up here; she is studying girls education. Then I had a meeting with my adviser for my project, Dr. Fah Taguem. He has taught seminars and classes all over the states and in Germany. We had a great meeting and then when I was walking home I saw my host father drive by on a moto. He asked if I was ready to go to my first family and I was shocked but of course said yes. It happened to be a neighbor who has three wives. They were very open. I ended up getting four surveys and conducting three interviews all in the first day!
    Friday I was introduced to Loppa, my translator. She has been very helpful because the majority of people who have not been educated do not speak French, just Fulfuldé. She also has a lot of connections to the area so she, along with my host father, have been wonderful in setting me up to meet families.
    Saturday we had a very busy day. It started at 8:30 when we walked an hour to see our first family. I regretted having gone on a run that morning. Ngaoundéré is hot. And the dry season is truly upon us. I felt like we were walking through the desert, and I honestly wasn’t too far off. You must understand that here people take motos (mopeds or motorcycles) everywhere! There aren’t taxis really like in Yaoundé. Due to safety precautions we are not allowed to take a moto. In fact, if you are seen on a moto you have one strike, three strikes your going home. While none of our staff members are here, we are assured that they have spies everywhere. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to get on a moto because the driving here is frightening and I have seen people get in back wrecks. That being said, throughout my research it is proving to be a big inconvenience. Good thing I am active and like to walk!
    Anyway, we got to our first house and this woman was extremely passionate. She said countless times, I condemn polygamy. I condemn it! It’s just a way to cheat women and make them suffer! When asked when then is she in a polygamous marriage she responded that she fell in love with a man who already had two wives, what was she to do? This shockingly has been a very common sentiment. Almost every woman that I have talked to strongly does not want her children to be in polygamous relationships because they feel it causes too many problems and just makes the wives and the children suffer. It is just amazing to me that these women are willing to live a lifestyle that they despise just because they love or feel financially secure with the man. Not as many women as I would’ve expected were forced into the marriage, although there are cases of such. Saturday I spoke to women and men and children from about 5 different families. Hearing every story was interesting to me. There were girls who are younger than I am with 4 children already and there were widows in their 50s who just didn’t want to be alone anymore and married a polygamous man because he was the first one to propose. The theme of jealousy that Amal presents in her books is the one theme that I am most confident that she is presenting the reality. Each time I ask the women if there is jealousy between the wives she laughs, some are quite hesitant to respond but almost all respond yes. Amal explained that women are supposed to hide those feelings, so that is why I think they all laugh nervously. They all know there is that feeling, but because of their lifestyle it is taboo to express this emotion. It is an emotion that Amal’s literature is able to express for these women because they cannot.
    That night I came home exhausted from the day, but I heard music out in the courtyard. There was a four man band with drums and a microphone and dancing. I was confused but my host mother explained that a girl in the neighborhood was getting married the next day and they were getting her ready. I saw women washing the bride’s feet and dancing with her. Her head was covered with a scarf to hide her. It was a really cool cultural experience. I loved that everyone, old and young, from the neighborhood came out to dance and wish her well!
    Sunday, or yesterday rather, was another early day. I went to my first family at 7:30 (people get moving pretty early here, even on weekends, because as I mentioned the heat is unreal). I first spoke with the father of the family. I could tell immediately that he is very strict and traditional with the way he treats his wives. He said that they have no say at all in the decision making and that if they go against his words he will divorce them. He has had 11 wives; he has four right now, two have died, and he has divorced five. I spoke with the women too. None of them have been educated or are allowed to work out of the house (only one out of the 14 women I’ve interviewed works out of the household). This family is extremely well-off. Their compound was expansive and luxurious! It was really interesting because the second family I spoke with is really struggling financially. I spoke to the father and three children and all the children said that they would not have polygamous families because in this day and age it is too much of a financial burden. The father of this family said he was willing to discuss decisions with his wives and valued what they had to think. In talking to Loppa I realized that the financial situations of these families really play an important role in how the family runs. A man can be a lot more domineering when he has money because the wife cannot complain, she has all her needs and then some met. However, if the man is struggling to provide then the women has more of a right to stand up and say what she wants and needs and how she thinks the family should run for the betterment of all. I relate this to the book because the first wife talks about how before the husband had money everything was happy, but after Alhadji became rich the wives lives actually deteriorated.
    I have a great start on my research. In fact, by the end of this next week I will probably finish with my field work and devote my time entirely to transcribing and analyzing data. The week after that I will be writing my final paper. I will keep you all informed on further research!
    Also, there is a woman on the street a couple blocks from my house who sells the best fried plantains I have ever eaten! She knows me now, and I’m already getting an extra plantain thrown in every time I stop by. For 20 cents I can’t very well pass up the opportunity for an afternoon plantain snack!